The Hungry Man Eats

Monthly Archives: March 2016

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Depression + Weight Loss + Food Blogging = Recipe for Disaster

Sad Pizza :(

So, I just noticed that I have only three blog posts in the past eight months. I also don’t really weigh much less than I did a year ago when I got my bloodwork done for the first time in years, discovered I had sky high blood pressure and started seeing a nutritionist. On top of all that I have been taking anti-depression medications for around 14 months now and I have a hard time discerning how much they have actively helped. Also I am now 40, yay.


In retrospect I should have expected something like this, I do a lot of reading on things pertaining to depression and how to get past it (or just live with it as it seems) and one thing I discovered is that depressed people don’t write much while actively depressed. I know why this is, having been this way more often than not these days, when you are depressed you don’t feel like doing much of anything let alone plonking yourself down behind your laptop and writing out 750 or so barely adequate words about the latest restaurant you went to when all you really want to do is say something like “Eat a Beef Wellington or eat Lucky Charms for dinner, I don’t care, because we all die in the end anyway.”

So let’s count the problems:
• I just calculated my BMI right before typing this out and it’s 35.4, anything over 30 is classified as obese and anything over 25 is classified as overweight. If I want to get down to 24.9 which is the highest possible measure you can have and not be overweight, I will need to lose 79 pounds.
• What pisses me off? I did this once before. In the fall of 2000 I weighed 272 pounds, but by the spring of 2003 I had dropped over 70 pounds and consistently weighed 197-199 at that time. Even as recently as the spring of 2006 I was briefly below the 200 pound mark. Ten years later, almost all of that work has gone to waste.
• Medications: I used to be proud that I needed no meds, not even a multivitamin because I was healthy. Now, I have to take five different medications, two for depression and three for cholesterol/high blood pressure.
• Moderate sleep apnea, certainly because I am overweight, which means that you need to have a stupid machine blowing air into your nose while you sleep so that your airway stays open properly so you don’t stop breathing.
• Not enough exercise: Although these days experts say that around 80% of a person’s weight loss can be attributed to healthy eating, exercise still plays a bit of a role, and has other health benefits above and beyond losing weight. But it is hard to get your rear in gear and be more active when you are…
• Still depressed: You don’t want to do anything, you don’t have the energy to do anything, and you don’t care that you don’t want to do anything or have the energy to do anything. I could have another whole blogs worth of material on how insidiously crippling and destructive depression can be. Like most people who are battling it, I am never in as good of a mood as I appear to be, and I don’t like to talk about how poorly I actually feel because there is no point in doing so, there is nothing that can be done or said by anyone that will help.

This is where I would normally go and have some more bullet points where I point out the good things and what is going right, but there aren’t any. It’s not a total wasteland, I have been working on reducing my carb intake and bumping up my protein intake, not easy with all the sugar out there. The springtime will hopefully bring more opportunities to get active and have more fresh local produce available.
I want to get writing more frequently again, I was something I enjoyed doing in the not too distant past, and I do have ideas rattling around in my head, but the execution of getting something from my brain to the screen is such a challenge these days. I just hope I can post more frequently, and this and life for that matter becomes enjoyable again.

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