The Hungry Man Eats

The Proper Martini

The very first Martini I had was a drink created by the Cheesecake Factory called the Well-Mannered Dirty Martini, it is described as: A dirty Martini with Ketel One Vodka and blue cheese stuffed olives. But first, what makes a Martini a dirty Martini? Well, the answer is the addition of olive juice. And what makes a Martini a Martini for those not in the know? The Martini is a cocktail made with gin and vermouth, and garnished with an olive or a lemon twist.
Well I remember back to that day about 5 ½ years ago, the drink sounded intriguing, the blue cheese olives were what drew me in, I love blue cheese and I love olives, the vodka and vermouth were simply the garnish in this case. The drink was awesome, but because it was the Cheesecake Factory, it was not cheap, I think it may have even been a $10 drink even back in 2007, but it was delicious, it was a true eye opener. I looked the drink up online after the fact and I was like, I can make this one myself rather easily. So I looked up how to make a Martini and I saw that gin, rather than vodka was the traditional liquor of choice for crafting a proper Martini.
At this point in time, gin and I were not friends, the last time I had gin was at a party I was attending at the very beginning of the millennium, I crafted myself a lovely gin and tonic, or what I thought was a lovely gin and tonic with a freshly squeezed lemon wedge floating in the gin and tonic. The problem, was not really with the ratio of gin to tonic, though at this point I really have no idea what ratio I really used(1:1 most likely) the problem was that rather than using some classy highball glass, I was using a large plastic tumbler closer to a Big Gulp in size than a proper highball glass. As you are probably already surmising at this point, the evening ended poorly and my lovely crafted gin and tonic paid me a return visit later that evening. So from approximately the year 2000 to 2007, gin was the devils juice, to be avoided if at all possible.
But then I came across that Cheesecake Factory dirty Martini that delighted me so and in my haste to replicate the drink, I chose gin over vodka as the traditionalist in me won out. Everything else was as described in the description for the drink online, except for the gin in place of the vodka.
So since 2007 I have delighted in making my own at home with gin instead of vodka, but then tonight, after enjoying yet another homemade well-mannered dirty Martini, I thought, “Well, how is it with vodka rather than gin?”
So I whipped myself up another dirty Martini, in my Martini glass using vodka rather than gin.
It was not good.
The problem, apparently, is not in the vodka itself, but in the vodka that I have on hand, much to my regret, the vodka I have on hand is Skol vodka. According to the website, Skol vodka is described as: “Skol is a 40% ABV vodka from the United States. The vodka is produced by J.A. Dougherty’s Sons, Co. The quality is considered to be terrible. The average price is around $10.50 per 750mL. Rated 0 out of 5 based on 4 reviews.” This swill is what I made my vodka Martini from. I do not remember how long ago it was that I bought this bottle, but at this point in time there is only about 10% of the bottle remaining so apparently whenever I have made the decision to drink vodka or vodka with something, I have had a far less than optimal experience. This makes me sad and makes me want to rush out and buy a bottle of decent vodka like Ketel One or something similar. Now the problem with that is that I proceeded to make myself another proper Martini with the gin I had on hand (Gordon’s Gin to be specific, and the gin I have enjoyed the most in my gin consumption so far, even better in my opinion then Beefeater gin, which has been the other primary gin I drink.)
No way in hell at this point can I head out and buy a bottle of Ketel One Vodka, let alone drive (or walk in a straight line for that matter probably) I do have another bottle of vodka on hand, unfortunately it is something called Vladimir Vodka with a very angry looking Russian on the front of the bottle. I can’t imagine it is much of an improvement over Skol, so why bother at this point.
Of course what is the best thing to do after three Martinis? Blog about it of course (THANK GOD FOR SPELLCHECK IN MICROSOFT WORD)
Lessons learned:
• Gin Martini>Vodka Martini
• But you need to use a good vodka to do a proper comparison
• That said, gin imparts a flavor that is unique, but apparently not well loved by the Martini drinking masses
• This experiment must be repeated with a proper vodka
• I obviously need to exhibit a more proper respect for vodka and buy a better brand like I do for my gin, scotch, lunchmeat, tp, etc…
So how do I make my dirty Martini’s?
• 2/3 Gordons gin
• 1/3 Gallo Extra Dry Vermouth
• 2tsp. olive juice
• 2 blue cheese stuffed olives
• All these ingredients are added to a traditional Martini glass filled to the brim
I am well aware that I am heavy on the vermouth compared to what most people prefer, but the traditional blend had more vermouth than most people prefer today, and like I said before, I am a traditionalist when it comes to my beverages…
So what do you think of the gin vs. vodka battle for a martini?

4 Thoughts on “The Proper Martini

  1. I think it martini would look more appetizing than the clip art pic :). Cheers! Guess you’ll just have to have another drink!

  2. Pingback: The Proper Martini, a Second Round: | The Hungry Man Eats

  3. I hope you’ll enjoy this:
    The Fancy Feaster teaches an etiquette lesson involving a very dirty martini:


  4. brandy on May 17, 2017 at 2:51 am said:

    I work for The Cheesecake Factory. Vodka is the whole point to our “well mannered”. 3oz kettle1, 1/4oz olive juice (from spanish olives) 2 blue cheese stuffed Spanish olives. Vodka should be crisp, yet refreshing. Grey Goose or Belvedere would be acceptable. ..though I have tried Absolute Pepper and was surprisingly good.

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